After Memory

I wrote about memory a few weeks ago. I hope it wasn't too depressing for you. 

This time I am writing about what I should be writing about. I used to write about macroeconomic policy. I kept up with the latest happenings in monetary and fiscal policy. I liked to play the sceptic role. As a policy conservative, I usually don't like what politicians do. I tried to be a critic. I tried to make it fun but still -- being a critic makes me feel negative. 

Don't get me wrong. I still don't like the policies of Biden and his buddies -- I just don't want to spend my time complaining about them. So I am trying to decide what to write about. It is not an easy decision. There are things I could write about that might bore you to tears. I don't want to do that. As my friend Barbara chides ---"its all abut you Larry" and I guess it is. 

But what is it about me that other people might connect to? I could write about my prostate but then that might not be a popular topic. I could write about the view from my window but that would get old very fast. If many of you are my age or closing in on my age, then health issues could be of some interest. Maybe there is a fun and positive way to write about all that but I haven't figured it out yet. 

So here I sit and wonder. Maybe I should write about being thankful. After all, I am almost 77 years old, don't yet require anyone to take care of my basic needs on a daily basis, and while my memory is a leaky valve, most of my other parts work reasonably well. I can still find the gym and my house on a daily basis and I hardly ever skip a meal.  And I am very lucky to have family and friends who put up with me and help me. And even love me. 

Speaking of the gym. Its two blocks from here. It mostly attracts older people but not exclusively. The staff is friendly and very helpful. The gym has an ample selection of free weights, machines, and a lot of bikes, treadmills, and so on.  I go there for the workout but I have to admit that it also substitutes for a country club. A lot of fraternizing goes on there. Some people hardly break a sweat but I suspect they are working hard on their jaw muscles. Of course, there are others who sweat and breathe hard and grunt and groan and all that. I fall somewhere in between those extremes. 

I see the Tuna is starting to nod off so I best beat a hasty retreat. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense. 

Where did February go? Hello March. 

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

The Rolling Stones sang, "I can't get no satisfaction." Aside from the grammatical error in that sentence, I starting thinking about satisfaction.  

There are a lot of synonyms for satisfaction: achievement, amusement, comfort, contentment, delight, enjoyment, fulfillment, gratification, happiness, joy, pleasure, pride, relief, vindication, well-being, amends, atonement, bliss, cheerfulness, compensation.

But that's not my point. My issue is the implicit assumption is that we want it. We value satisfaction. When I think of satisfaction, my mind goes to a guru sitting cross legged chanting Ohmmm. Satisfaction brings up the notion that someone has attained something. Maybe not as extreme as the state of Nirvana, but maybe a reflection that they have done well -- accomplished something important or valuable. 

I would not argue that the value of feeling good about one's accomplishment is somehow bad, but maybe all that satisfaction is not that great either. A moment's reveling in the glory of one's achievement is fine, but then what? A one hit wonder? A flash in the pan? No one wants to avoid a success, but then what? Once they know you hit a home run in the bottom of the 9th, then what? Of course, they expect you to do it again. 

And you know that. You know you hit that homerun. You are now the guy who hit that homerun. Once you are satisfied, then what's next? Now you feel the pressure of needing to hit another one. A single or double pales in comparison. 

This point is among those things that makes you wonder what you really want. Or maybe it emphasizes that we glorify some goals. If only I could _ _ _  _ (fill in the blanks), then everything would be perfect. 

Is not getting satisfaction a good thing? Maybe we get bored with being satisfied. Maybe we like the idea of knowing that we will have many chances to succeed or not. Maybe we like being challenged and not knowing what the outcome will be. Maybe satisfaction is not a state to attain and maintain but rather an episodic plus among the minuses? 

I don't know what the Rolling Stones had in mind when they wrote that song. But I sure am glad they did. What fun to think about all this!

Happy Valentines Day

 Happy Valentines Day folks. 

I hope your day is full of hearts and chocolates and friendships and love. 

In Seattle the air is cool but the sky is very blue. Lots of sun. Looks like a great day for a walk around Green Lake. 

Have a sweet day.

Memory

 There are so many things we take for granted. 

The sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. Your mother-in-law will visit for the weekend and then stay for the month. Your kids will grow up and be a lot smarter than you. It's all expected.

You spend much of your life cramming your brain with events, facts, and ideas. Like files in a filing cabinet, you refer to them with frequency and you usually can find what you are looking for. I married in this year and my kids were born on these years. I graduated in another year. It's all there. 

And then you get old. Maybe not all old people are afflicted similarly. Some get cancers. Some get stomach problems. Some are arthritic. But some get memory challenges. The exception is wives. They never forget anything. 

I don't want to depress you. So if you are not into memory issues then hit exit and find something better to do with your time. But life is life and part of life is aging whether you want to admit it or not. 

Many attributes leave you as you age. In your thirties you are already seeing declines in your ability to run or jump. That bothers you when you try to get to first base. As you hit your 70s, it is your brain that can't run as fast and you are lucky if you can even find first base. Ok, I exaggerate. But exaggeration does not reverse the truth. 

Hmmm. What was I writing about? Oh yes, memory. 

What to do? Possibly one can recognize that we are given the opportunity to be here for a while and then we have to exit. No one I know of has been able to escape that reality. Second, we can be humble and accept the fact (perhaps kicking and screaming) that we will decline physically and mentally, Third, do the best you can. Don't sugar-coat it. Deal with it. 

If you can't remember s_ _t, then find a way to try to remember. Maybe you can write things down. I don't go anywhere these days without my little pad of paper and very short pencil (that cramps my hand). I am finding that I write down so much that I am now taking a book with me. That is, if I can remember to take it with me. Along with having the book and writing in it, I have to remember to refer to it. That's hard when you can't remember sh_ _. 

Writing in a book about everything you just did or what you plan to do is a real pain. Another option is to use your phone or tablet to enter all this past and future information. I find that pencil and paper works better for me but maybe you prefer typing. 

Neither paper nor tablet will be satisfactory. The truth is that all this is just part of a process that ends poorly. In the meantime, hug your loved ones and just be thankful if you can remember how to find your way home.