Asia Meets America and They Kiss

Some of you know that I have been spending more time in Asia – especially Korea and Vietnam. Some of you have asked me from time to time what it is like to live in Asia. My blog says that it is about macro and other stuff – so to make that a true statement I ought to write about other stuff sometimes. Other stuff could include lots of things including my attitude towards garden weeds, wild deer that eat our hostas, and why I am not fully appreciated by my friends and family. So maybe writing about Asian reflections is not a bad idea.

Before I get into all this I want to apologize to all my Asian and non-Asian friends if I fall into well-known traps of stereotyping or saying something wrong or something just plain stupid. But it makes no sense to even get into this question if we can’t stereotype a little bit. For example, if I wanted to write about differences between men and women you gotta admit – va va voom – that men and women are different. We might be alike in many ways but please EXCUSE ME for knowing that we are different. So it is the same thing with respect to Asians and Americans. Many Koreans have much in common with many Hoosiers. But come on – it is okay to say we are not exactly the same. Right?

So where do I start? I guess you have to start with an important difference so let me bring up kimchi. Koreans eat kimchi seventeen times a day and the really cool thing is that the constitution gives every Korean a kimchi refrigerator regardless of height, weight, religion, or economic status. When you go to a Korean restaurant you will usually get an unlimited amount of kimchi. Finish the tiny little bowl of kimchi in front of you and like magic, it is refilled. The kimchi angels keep it flowing. In fact, a typical Korean meal will have several bowls of different kinds of kimchi and other shared items that resemble roots, twigs, and tiny Michelin tires.  Of course you can also find kimchi in many delicious soups, stews, pancakes, fried rice, and nachos!

This gets us to another huge difference between our cultures – and that is the concept of double-dipping. There is no concept of double-dipping in Korea. In America if Larry plunges his fork into the group dish of nachos a second time, he will immediately be taken to the back of the restaurant and beaten by gangs of Manners Police. In America we believe that putting my fork back in the bowl once it has ventured near my bacteria-filled mouth area constitutes a crime against humanity. Koreans somehow know about the concept of bacteria yet you can sit with many of them at a meal and allow your metal chop sticks to plunge numerous times into the same shared bowls of delicious side dishes. This may have something to do with the strong sense of family and national pride shared by Koreans. In their culture if you think you might be sick or contagious, you would probably not attend a shared meal and you would probably wear a face mask around all day to protect your colleagues and relatives.

Koreans get close to each other. Women often walk arm and arm. Men will stand close to you when speaking with you. Americans usually prefer to stand back. In Korea standing back means you are not interested enough and might never get on that airplane, bus, taxi, or subway. To a Korean standing back means you do not have a great urge to get on the vehicle. If for example, you leave what you think is one foot between you and the gate, 1,000 Koreans will move ahead of you in that space. As an American you think they are rude and have unfairly crowded ahead of you to gain advantage. I don’t think so. They see you as not being in a hurry about getting on. They see the inefficiency of leaving a gap in the line. If you drive a motor bike in Hanoi you see the same thing. How many motor bikes can fit across a two lane intersection? My guess is about 100,000. Do not leave one inch of space between your car or bike and the one in front of you. An alert Vietnamese biker will go through a wall to fill a void if he sees it. This may have something to do with the fact that Seoul and Hanoi have little space for humans after you subtract the ubiquitous mountains. Space is at a premium when you compare it to the vast expanses of land in the USA. You can drive through North Dakota all day and see more Elk than actual human beings.

And then there is the art of walking down a perfectly calm sidewalk. Americans think that sidewalks are for people and for people on skateboards. That is a very limiting concept. In Asia a motor bike or a water buffalo go wherever they like. They are permitted to roam and run lights and they do that regularly. But they are also permitted to jump onto sidewalks at will. So don’t think because you are taking Fido for a walk on his leash that you somehow own the sidewalk in Hanoi or Seoul. 

The other challenging difference about peacefully walking down sidewalks is the preferred side. Americans ALWAYS stick to the right side. That is a very orderly and efficient concept. Always stick to the right. Even if you have to knock some fool over – get to the right. In fact we are so wed to walking on the right that if some evil communistic person is walking toward you on your side of the sidewalk you will quickly conclude that he/she needs a lesson in sidewalk directional etiquette – wherein you walk right over that elderly woman spilling all the items in her pushcart everywhere.  Asians seem to prefer walking on the left. But that is not a hard and fast rule. They are more fluid than we are.  Koreans seem to have a sixth sense about not running into each other. Since I don’t always know whether they will go left or right, I am conscious of them all the time. So I look a little like a high school running back on the sidewalk – dodging left then right then left again.  It’s pretty cool. I have to think about it. They seem to just bob and float in a great wave of humanity. They sting like a butterfly and float like a bee. Or something like that.

The next important thing to remember in Korea is who pours beer for whom.  The boss never pours his own beer. Unless you are the youngest and least ranked person at the table, it is a pretty cool concept. This reflects, I think, another aspect of a culture that shows respect and a strong sense of social togetherness. It is not enough that you spend an evening swapping stories or explaining the concept of diminishing marginal utility, In Asia there is a constant reminder of mutual dependence as each person at the table watches the other’s glass with the intent of making sure no glass goes empty.  Adding to this sense of camaraderie are the frequent toasts. Americans might have a special toast at the beginning or end of an event. Koreas keep toasting until everyone is pretty much toasted.

One Korean colleague was telling me something the other day about scientific tests that showed that Koreans look at a painting differently than a westerner. He said that westerners look immediately at the middle or point of focus – the place where the main action or story is. Koreans, in contrast, do not look there – they tend to look at the periphery and the area surrounding the central focus. One interpretation is that this is yet another piece of evidence of the strong social cohesion of Asians. The periphery defines or is integrated with the main actor or central focus. To westerners the art has a message or an individual focus. To the Asian this central focus is just one part of a greater consciousness.

As I said in the beginning above, stereotypes can be very misleading. If anything my time in Asia makes me that much more appreciative and aware of the best and worst of all cultures.  The individual focus and spirit of western countries has numerous and wonderful attributes but we all know that when taken to the extreme, selfishness can be an undeniable liability. The stronger social and interdependence of Asian cultures provides some very beautiful and efficient ways of interaction yet blind allegiance to unearned respect can blemish that approach. I feel very lucky to have been able to spend time in Asia and have the opportunity to learn and experience the truth that friendship means the same thing in every culture.  

Okay, I am sure I goofed up somewhere. Let me know what you think!