Tuesday, February 11, 2020

CNN and Iowa Tomfoolery

Note: I wrote this gaseous essay on February 4th. I had downloaded some data and was all prepared to put myself to sleep writing a blog post on the topic of GDP 2019 when I decided to go to the Green Lake Fitness Center for my daily workout. After touching my toes a couple of times, I decided to get on an exercise bicycle that was located directly in front of a TV monitor that was showing the CNN noon news hour.

The CNN noon news is usually just F’ Trump, F’ Trump, F’ Trump with an occasional Chicago murder or two. But crazy as it seems, I must have ridden almost 17 minutes, and I did not hear Trump’s name one time. What? What is going on? I said to myself.

It turned out that these bastions of very unbiased and serious news (do you detect sarcasm?) were leveling their usual spleen-emptying gargling at the Democratic Party of Iowa. You would have thought that the Democratic Party of Iowa (DPOI) had committed heinous if not Nazi-like sins against mankind. The evil members of the DPOI had ruined America forever and in the most horrible way possible.

For those of you living a real life who somehow have not stumbled on all this minutia, the DPOI had a malfunction when it came to counting votes with a new phone app for the Iowa Caucus. 

Because of this malfunction, we went minutes and hours without knowing how many votes The Bernie got. Thankfully, these goons at CNN took on the mission of telling us every single detail they could muster and they repeated that tiny story over and over and over. And then they introduced guest experts who told us over and over again how the DPOI had destroyed all the Democratic candidates and the whole election, how they had been dumber than rocks in how they used phone apps to count votes, and how possibly the sun would not do its usual circle around the moon (I am not a very good astronomer).

Seriously, what is wrong with those dudes? I am glad they don’t give those people pea-shooters or other weapons, as I am afraid they might have captured a couple DPOI members and executed them with extra-large feather pillows right there on television.

And can you believe the DPOI told CNN and the world that they didn’t know when they would complete the count but they were trying to get a partial count by the following Friday. WHAT A HEINOUS CRIME! We were going to have to wait three days to get some results. Three days! Rome could burn in less than three days. And then only partial results. My God, no full results for five days? What could possibly happen to the world if we didn’t know Iowa's results? Might Earth crash into Venus?

When is the election? Tomorrow? I heard they were going to have it in November. Yet not knowing the Iowa winners for five days on February 4 is going to ruin everything. Did I say EVERYTHING? Don’t get a haircut or your toenails done in those five days.

All this, and I am betting the Anderson Cooper guy and all those other twerps on CNN do not even have an idea where Iowa is. Wait, is Iowa just Indiana spelled backwards? How can we have so many states that begin with “I”?

Meanwhile Trump and the Republicans got the day off. No Trump F-bombs on CNN. I used to believe in the importance of democracy and a free press. I’m not so sure anymore. Interesting situation coming up. Trump will give his annual address (doesn't he give an annual address daily on Twitter?)  What will the press do? Will they take time out from bashing the DPOI to bash Trump? What a dilemma! By the time you will have read this post, we will all know the answer. 

18 comments:

  1. Dear LSD. Yeth, by the time I read yer blogy-blog I had the answers via the ol float’n JD boddle on the seas someone kindly sendz to update us finny-fin-finz types. We at depths don’t watch phony stuff like CNN but rather continuous-loop reruns of the real-life reality production of “Finding Nemo.” Thankx to the kind land-lubber who sendz the boddle we’re able to stay abreast—er, stay a-finned—of ‘appenings up there on terra firma. The messages often mention the fake newz and alternative facts (lies???) rammed down the throats of gullible and low-information (dumb, stupid????) viewers of CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS and occasionally NPR. Seemz given yer reaction to the CNN/Anderson Cooper whoopla that you are not included in the former: Whew . . . . fer a nano second me thought you were. Glad yer not gullible and low-information but rather astute, sharp, discerning, and perceptive—keep truck’n on that exorcise bike and don’t let too much of the liberal goo rub off on you ala Seattle. 'N don’t consume the fake granola stuff . . . it’ll constipate you somt’n awful and slow-down, impede, hinder and otherwise obstruct yer mental ‘n brainy acuity.

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    1. Always nice to get an encouraging Tuna-gram. Constipation has never been a problem in the Davidson family but I will try to heed your warnings about granola. Otherwise life on the left-coast has been fun and interesting. Stay safe and keep out of those tuna nets.

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  2. "I used to believe in the importance of democracy and a free press. I’m not so sure anymore." REALLY? I do not believe you.

    Jesse

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    1. Believe me. When politicians and the press continually spread lies of what value is either institution? Worse is that the phenomenon is getting worse. Lying is becoming a strategy to win.

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    2. Dear LSD. R U a cynic or a realist? Though I’m neither an hysterical Constitutional or Federalist historian I recall from Mr. Gray’s 7th grade civics class that a free press and democracy go hand-in-hand, so he sed. Both are needed for either to exist . . . to one degree or another, so he said. The Founding era experienced competing newspapers and dubious reports of politicians’ dubious behaviors and integrity. Seemz what goes ‘round comes ‘round, still . . . to one degree or another. The more things change the more they seem the same.

      If yer unshure of the importance of a free press don’t spend too much time contemplating thereof. The press is still very free to mis-report, report when or to not report, and/or outright lie as it sees fit to support its narrative/politics. The missing descriptor is “objective.” Ah-h-h-h-h, back to the future :).

      Also, don’t spend too much time on the importance of [sic] “our” democracy. While on the one hand we have a “free” press on the other hand we don’t have a democracy. So, while Mr. Gray sed a free press and democracy go hand-in-hand it ain’t necessarily so, so sez G. Gershwin. Mr. Gray should have listened to Mr. Gershwin.

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    3. I am a realist because I can differentiate between knowing what is and what might be hoped for. I am a cynic because I question to motives of some people -- especially those in government. And some in the media too. I think that whenever regular folks cannot trust politicians and media to tell the truth, this weakens democracy...whatever form the latter might take.

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    4. And when we have a police state where the only press will be the instrument of the State, will we be better off, Doober?

      Jesse

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    5. I do not recommend jumping from the frying pan to the fire. Freedom of the press is essential. My problem comes when the press is the problem. Then what?

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    6. I suspect the press has always professed its ideas. Have you read any of the press from the days of Hamilton and Jefferson? You might be more concerned that the Russians have radio stations in this country, the goal of which is to foment dissent among Americans. See today's New York Times.

      Jesse

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    7. I don't think the average person was much involved back when. Now social media plus a very huge TV news/entertainment institution makes sure all of us are very excited about their colorful and exaggerated views of news. Russians are just one part of a bunch of lies and exaggerations. Why not clean up the whole mess in a way that is compatible with democracy? Liberals say corporations cheat and believe the state should go after them. What about when the press cheats?

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    8. How, Doober, without removing freedom of the press?

      Jesse

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    9. And why do you always dump on liberals? Didn't Fox used to call themselves fair and balanced. Now Fox and Friends and Sean Hannity make policy for the President.

      Jesse

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    10. You answer a question with a question? I asked what happens when the press cheats and you say I want to remove their freedom. Of course I want something to stop them from lying and cheating. I don't know what it is. But to say they are free without consequence to lie, is just plain wrong to me.

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    11. As for dumping on liberals -- I love to dump on anyone that I think deserves it. Fox was never fair and balanced and used that phrase only to make the point that no one was fair and balanced.

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    12. Dear LSD and Anon/Jesse. Fox = fair and balanced???? . . . . . by what metrics? There are none. No network can be truly “fair” or “balanced” ‘cuauz those wordz’ meanings lie in ‘eyes of the beholder’—There are no objective metrics by which to accurately define those terms. ‘Fair and balanced’ is Fox’s promotional/positioning strategy to differentiate from the others and apparently it has been very effective: Fox viewers outnumber all the other networks combined. While you might not like Fox there are millions who do—“fair and balanced” resonates with many. It continues to rank number one in all key advertising performance metrics including likeability and ad, brand and message recall: It is the most fair and most balanced—relatively.

      Saying Fox/Frendz and Hannity make policy for POTUS is patently silly.

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    13. Jesse, Upon re-reading some of this stuff I want to get back to the dumping on liberals. I brought up liberals in the context of regulation. I pointed out that liberals often go after corporations who badly exercise their power. (Actually all of us do that but liberals are probably more prone to seeing negatives from big corporations.) I don't think that statement is dumping. Then I tried to say that it makes sense to me that when the press abuses its power -- it too should be called out. Liberals and the rest of us should be equally concerned about the outrageous reporting we get from the media. I would lump Fox in with the rest of them. Tuna might not. But he speaks for himself.

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  3. What happened to real reporting we got from stoics like Walter Cronkite? As stated by many down here in Florida we watch BBC to get a somewhat unbiased view of the real news here. Our weathermen love winter and the hurricane season. If their weekly over excited prognostications were even close to being right we would be in the ICE Ace now or blown off the map by the next cane. In my community everyone is from NY or OH or MA. Any sign of a traumatic hurricane and they are packing up and going north. I-95 looks like the traffic jam of people leaving Mexico.

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    1. Walter Cronkite and I Love Lucy are both gone. Digitization of information and social networks have changed everything. Information is power. Misinformation is power. Most of us don't have the time to know the difference.

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