A New Favorite Cocktail

Those of you who know me know that I prefer bourbon. Sure, I drink beer and wine and an occasional frozen Margarita, but I really like the bourbon. 

Bourbon is very flexible. You can drink it straight from the bottle. If there are people around to watch you, you might rather drink it straight up -- meaning that rather than sucking it out of the bottle, you find a nice glass and drink it from there. The good thing about straight up is that it is not easy to drink it fast -- and therefore you don't get drunk in 15 minutes as you might if you added a bunch of coke. A close cousin to straight up is bourbon on the rocks. Pouring bourbon over some ice cubes is a compromise between straight up and adding some sweet tasty liquid to the bourbon. In this case it might only take you an hour to walk a crooked line. The water makes it easier to gulp but not like adding coke would. 

I spent many years drinking bourbon on the rocks. That was my go-to-drink. When I walked into a bar or a friend's house, they knew immediately that I was that kind of guy. At least that was true until I learned about a drink called an Old Fashioned. Since I was older, it made sense to most people who know me that Old Fashioned was a perfect description of me. So why not have that be my signature drink? It was a lot like a bourbon on the rocks, except for a tiny bit of red vermouth added into an altogether almost perfect bourbon on the rocks. 

That sounded good but it turned out that I don't really like red vermouth. With vodka or gin martinis, if you don't want a lot of white vermouth, you can tell the bartender to make it "dry". Dry is a code word that means mostly vodka or gin and very little vermouth. If you say VERY dry, the bartender knows you want only a small eye dropper full of vermouth added to your otherwise perfect vodka or gin. 

Sadly, when it comes to Old Fashioneds, there is no standard terminology akin to "dry". If you told a bartender to give you a dry Old Fashioned, she would call in the white coats. So that leaves you with the English language. If you want an Old Fashioned that has very little red vermouth in it, then you have to spell it out. I found over many years of data collecting on this important issue that there is no standard language to tell said bartender how much red vermouth you want in your Old Fashioned. This is not a good state of affairs and it has led to much personal anguish if not stress. 

You are on the edge of your barstool wondering what comes next. Simple, I never really liked the red vermouth anyway. But the other part of the Old Fashioned that I loved, was, tada, the cherries! Problem solved -- "Bartender, I would like a bourbon on the rocks with two cherries and a half-teaspoon full of cherry juice." Solved, Done. Nirvana. 

Well, maybe. I purposely did not say much about gin above. But I also love gin and therefore I love dry martinis and gin & tonics. I won't go into a lot of detail because the Tuna is already sleeping loudly. I will lay on you the main point. I wanted some gin the other night and I was out of white vermouth and I was out of tonic. What to do? Easy, try something that no one would even think of. Pour some gin over some rocks and then....and then....add two cherries and a half teaspoon of cherry juice. 

You serious gin drinkers will say pasha and look down your pimply noses at me. But the truth is that a gin and cherries is freaking amazing. In case any of you are still awake I will issue a challenge to you. This new drink must have a name. I thought of Ginerry and Chegin. But those names are lame. I'm not exactly a marketing type. 

What would you call this incredible new drink? If you win the naming contest you will be eligible to win a free seaplane ride over Green Lake. 

Note: There are some gin/cherry drinks but to my knowledge most of them add soda, lime or something disgusting like that. My drink is gin, ice, two cherries, and a half teaspoon of cherry juice.