Tuesday, December 27, 2011

My Forecasts for 2012


Since it is only a couple days after Christmas I thought I might try something a little different in the blog this time.  All of you are probably still in the giving spirit or in the spirits. So there is no sense in me trying to be too analytical. Many of you are already sick of shopping and you have returned most of your gifts to Walmart so you are open for diversion. Those of you with visiting relatives are posting signs on your refrigerator that indicate that fish and visitors begin to smell after three days.

But this is a MACRO blog and I can’t just blather on about post-Christmas blahs. So what I am going to do is provide you with my forecasts for 2012.

First Peyton Manning will overcome his neck injury and will star with Kim Kardashian in a new reality TV show about the art of hiking a football. I won’t say who will play center but some of you wise guys have already figured it out.

Second, the Indiana University Football Team will win the conference championship in 2012 but will not be bowl-eligible because high school conference winners are not allowed to compete at the university level.

Third, the US election in 2012 will be won by David Letterman. He will run on the Funny Party Ticket arguing that the current batch of DC politicians are not funny and he is.

Fourth, the euro currency will go out of use and will be replaced by the Hungarian forint.

Fifth, Andra Klemkosky will replace Robert Klemkosky as the Dean of Business at SungKyunKwan University in Seoul.

Sixth, small business owners will be given a new Eli Lilly growth hormone so they are not so small.

Seventh, with the FDA closed for roof repair, any drug having gone through testing by movie stars at the Betty Ford Clinic will be approved and available for immediate sale at whatever price the market will bear.

Eighth, Pharmaceutical companies,  Cook Medical, the Post Office, and Topless Bars in DC will become government enterprises managed jointly by Kim Jung Un and the Donald.

Ninth, Vietnam, North Korea, Sanibel Island, and Ireland will become the 59th and 60th states of the USA.

Tenth, US rich people will be asked to move to Nova Scotia and Latvia but will be required to send their pay checks to President Letterman.

Eleventh, poverty status will be extended to all remaining US citizens so there will be no need for anyone to have to work or even pretend to work. The unemployment rate, therefore, will fall to zero percent, the lowest level in 362 years, guaranteeing re-election of the Letterman /Bashar al-Assad ticket.

Twelfth, world GDP will be equal to this year’s plus or minus.

Thirteenth, I cannot remember where I left my car keys and the 13th thing.

I hope you are having a great holiday with lots of spirits and whatever else your usual holiday rituals might dictate. Please do not harm your relatives because some of them might be planning to leave you money. I look forward to bringing you more Macrocrapola in the New Year. 

7 comments:

  1. Tough to type when you're laughing! Thanks for the much-needed humor!

    I hope you and yours have a prosperous and happy 2012!

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  2. Your projections are somewhat rosy and sound like something from the Obama Camp. Indiana...National Champ...better recruit some southern boys and hope they stay in school.

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  3. I was serious ar first, and found out they are all joke. Absolutely this is the best humor in this blog :-) And it is very interesting just to hear that no one has to work or even pretends to work. Thanks and wish you a happy new year!

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  5. Edward-- Thanks, have a wonderful New Year!

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